Before You Say Yes to Marriage, Know Yourself
Before Marriage: Be Whole in Yourself Marriage readiness begins with healing, building self-esteem, and becoming secure in who you are. Some may find your strength intimidating, while others may be drawn to your wounds,
2 min read · 27 October 2026
Before You Say Yes to Marriage, Know Yourself
I believe relationships before marriage thrive better when two people know who they are.
Before you start looking for someone to spend your life with, learn to be comfortable with your own company. Know your values, understand your personality, and learn to take responsibility for your life. Be willing to make money, take care of yourself, and build a life you are not constantly looking for someone to rescue you from.
Your parents may have hurt you. Your childhood may not have been what you needed it to be. But at some point, you have to become intentional about healing, so that the things that happened to you do not become the things you repeatedly experience in your relationships.
I believe two people should be able to stand on their own and still choose to stand together. Not because they cannot survive without each other, but because they genuinely want to share their lives.
And here is something else we need to talk about: not every yes is healthy, and not every no is a loss.
Sometimes, when people discover that you know yourself, have boundaries, and are comfortable being alone, they may decide you are not the person they want to marry. That is fine. You do not have to become smaller, more dependent, or less confident to make yourself easier to choose.
Sometimes, people are drawn to your wounds because they believe those wounds make you easier to control, manipulate, or keep. They may say yes to you, but that does not automatically mean their intentions are healthy.
So, before marriage, do not focus only on finding someone who wants you. Pay attention to why they want you and who you are becoming in the relationship.
You do not have to be perfect before you love someone. But you must be willing to know yourself, take responsibility for your healing, and grow into a person who can love without losing themselves.
The goal is not to find someone who completes you. It is to build a relationship where two people can be whole, keep growing, and consciously choose each other.
This is where we begin.
Ndu Well